Sunday, August 30, 2015

Being sad

Yes - this, really. I've been pottering around, getting one or two bits and pieces done, thinking I'm managing quite well, and then up pops another wave of sadness.  Michael Rosen says  "it comes along and finds you" - and he's right.

It found me a week or so ago, when an elderly friend of John's called in. During the visit, he remarked sadly that the older he got, the fewer friends he had. As he left, we both had tears in our eyes, and, as he drove off, it somehow felt like a real goodbye.

It found me one morning, when James came sleepily into the kitchen, saying that he had had a dream. I listened, although knowing, as he told me that his Dad had come back, and when he woke up, he thought for a moment that it was true, but then knew it wasn't. We both cried, but - oh - how can I know that longing he must feel ...

It finds me in all sorts of places - the officious wording of a business letter can make me feel vulnerable, turning on a TV show that he used to like, but not being able to watch it, treating myself to a danish with my coffee, and remembering that the last time I did this, he was right here, sitting at this table with me. I wonder what has happened -  to this man who was so full of life - such a strong personality - all that intellect, all that energy? Where has it gone? 

I know there will be many moments like this - there are lots of first times coming up - other things I have avoided, or can't face yet. But, I suppose we'll get through them, somehow. A friend, who lost her mother last year, called, and she talked about the idea of grief as seasonal - you have to go through the 'winter' and then 'spring' arrives and you begin to feel a bit better, then 'summer' is better yet, but autumn and winter will follow again, and so on we journey. I suppose for me it has been a bit like that, only massively speeded up - sometimes the seasons change several times a day... I'm just drifting with the flow, and really - what else is there to do?

I switched the TV on the other day, as I sat down to fold yet another gigantic pile of laundry. Where does it all come from? Anyway, flicking through the channels, I came upon a documentary film of Ethel Kennedy, and the story of the lead up to and eventual assassination of her husband. There were contributions from her children, who were all young at the time. It was hard to watch, with  those emotions still so raw for me, but I gave myself up to it, and mechanically folded tee shirts and underwear, tears coursing down my cheeks. I never knew about her, or the family. I was too young to remember much about those times, even though I am named after her sister-in-law. But what an inspiring woman - 11 children, one (the filmmaker herself) born after her husband's death. There was just something about Ethel Kennedy that touched my heart, and I felt her loss, and the world's loss - but I also felt some of her strength, saw how her great faith sustained her. I was sad, but comforted, and somehow it was a good thing. 

 September is almost here, and I do like the autumn. I have a few plans in the making, as we head towards the end of the year - a couple of trips, some projects - nice things to look forward to. I'll be back blogging normally too - I know I said I would only be posting pictures over the summer, but I must have forgotten about that bit. Thanks for dropping by, over the last couple of months, I'll reopen for comments next time, Until then, I wish you all a wonderful and happy week ahead. xxx  

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Weekend postcards

What a lovely weekend we have had - the weather has been hot, but very windy -"like a desert wind" James declared. We are just back in from enjoying a very pleasant and very extended Sunday lunch down at our neighbours' home. No photographs of that though, as I didn't take my phone, but there was delicious food, great company, cake, a 4 week old baby to coo over, and lots of chat. Perfect.

I thought I would quickly share a few moments from the end of the week, - a wee catch up post.

I finally managed to try out a new coffee stop in town - the house blend was wonderful, and it is such a cute wee venue, down by the harbour. Highly recommended.

Some decorating happened - James's bedroom is having a bit of a revamp. This is the before picture, but I will share the after photos at a later date, once the full refurb is done. If you follow me on IG, you may have seen the new, very blue colour, but more is to happen...

I bought myself some gladioli at the co-op. How exuberantly red they look, especially in the evening light. They make me smile when I look at them.

And there has been some incredible evening light and sunsets this weekend. The shot above is the Eastern sky - the sun went down with such a blaze of glory that the whole sky was coloured.

I made a perfect risotto, even if I do say so myself.

And, we have been going on night-time nature walks. James decided that he wanted to "see more nature". "But we are surrounded by nature!" I said, surprised. He said he was remembering when we were in Skye that there always seemed to be lots of frogs around just as he was going to bed, so wanted to go out and see if there were any here. Off we toddled into the twilight and had a lovely time looking for nature. We didn't see any frogs, but saw moths, a bat, wildflowers, and a neighbour's dog. We heard various birds calling down at the shore, and saw a flock of geese fly right over our heads, so close, we felt the draught from their wings. The next night, we headed out again, in the opposite direction.There wasn't much to see this time - a few little white moths, a couple of spiders, a cat hunting, a rabbit ,and the same neighbour's dog. It was a warm, sultry night though, and I think the wildlife was more successful at finding us...

Over these busy summer months, I have disabled the comments. Thank you for dropping by and I hope you are enjoying the season, wherever you are. Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead. xx

Joining Karen to share weekends.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Summer postcards: from the water

A glorious blue morning in late summer - a dear friend who calls and said "let's take a kayak out" - what's not to like about that?

Monday, August 17, 2015

Summer postcards


We had such a good time in Edinburgh, catching up with family, and seeing those familiar sights. Now we are back home - back to school and trying to find our new routine - just me and the boy.  I've been quite sad this week - the business of the summer holidays are over, leaving me with much more time to think. Its fine - I am fine, and I need to feel these things. I'm making plans for a few changes, nothing drastic, just moving things around a bit - making things a bit easier to manage on my own. I am still trying to practice gratitude and find a moment of joy every day - even on the hardest ones.

James waits for the school bus to arrive - how grown up and tall he suddenly looks! He is such a great boy, and I am thankful for him.

We become so used to the long daylight hours here, during the summertime, so it is nice to welcome back the starry skies,(however blurry the photograph...)

I am enjoying my early morning walks around the garden. The dahlia's are blooming now and every morning there is a new flower to admire.

I had a lovely surprise gift in the mail, from dear friend and fellow blogger San. She knitted this beautiful shawl just for me, because she said it was the nearest thing to a hug she could give - and there is a prayer worked into it too. How sweet and kind it that? How can I fail when there is such love in my world?

The good thing about school starting on a Thursday is that it is only two days until the weekend. Having been rushing around in the big city, then straight back to school on our return, we felt like just lazing around, so we had a quiet weekend filled with Lego projects and TV movies.

Nutmeg spiced oatmeal with raspberries, brambles, maple syrup and thick cream might not have passed my grandfather's definition of true Scots porridge, but it certainly was a delicious start to the morning.

And sometimes cars breakdown unexpectedly, and if you have to wait for roadside assistance, it helps to have an amazing view to keep you occupied. even better when a kind and helpful neighbour happens by and gets you back on the road more quickly.

So, here we are - slowly feeling our way through these days. Over these busy summer months, I have disabled the comments and it is still summer - I don't go for this autumn in August idea - and in fact our weather has been warmer this week than it was in June and July. Thank you for dropping by and I hope you are enjoying the season, wherever you are. xxx

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Edinburgh Postcards: Festival and Food

  • A beautiful and emotional evening of dance.
  • Hamlet ends tragically again -  ah well, maybe next time...
  • James thinks we should come back in a couple of weeks.

But sadly its back home and back to school already! Where did the summer go? Did it even arrive? I'm still holding out some hope for a few days here and there. I am sure there will be one or two postcards still to come.

Over these busy summer months, I have disabled the comments. Thank you for dropping by and I hope you are enjoying the season, wherever you are. xxx

Edinburgh Postcards: Scenes around town

Edinburgh in August  - there is no way to describe the beauty, the craziness, or the fun of this city at festival time. You just have to be here...

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Holiday postcards: snaps from home.

Just popping in with a few snapshots from the last week. 

We went down to Harris one evening to meet a friend and her family, who are visiting the island. They invited us to their holiday cottage for tea. The views are fairly special down there.

We did some forked stick weaving with baler twine, grasses, flowers and other bits and bobs we found lying around. 

The apron pocket is complete!

Strawberry cheesecake cupcakes were a hit - recipe here - no tweakery.

It rained...

The dahlias are flowering.

It's hard to believe are now only a week away from the start of the new school term! Off we go, trying to squeeze as much out of these holidays as we can. 

Over these busy summer months, I have disabled the comments. Thank you for dropping by and I hope you are enjoying the season, wherever you are. xxx


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