Sunday, March 6, 2011

A Short Sabbatical

We've been so busy in the last week, that we have been crawling into bed at unseemly early hours, just to have enough energy for the next round.  Mostly we have been cleaning in and around the old house, which gets a bit neglected when we are away.  The big drive for this decluttering was the planned visit of the estate agent to take photographs of the house before it goes on the market. The surveyor calls early this week, and then it will be for sale.  I know there is someone out there who will love this cottage and take care of it.

If I am honest, I have been really struggling with the idea of letting go.  I have always lived in this area - I can trace my ancestors back to this very soil for 250 years.  I planted out some of the vegetable beds today - carrots, beetroot, onion and potatoes - a bit early for here, I know, but needs must.  As I hoed out the seed row, I marveled at how light and well worked the soil was - so airy and rich - 12 years worth of work.  Why do I want to leave this and start again on a completely different and unworked soil, that has no trace of family roots?  But I know deep down that I do.  I can recollect the most joyful feeling I had a few weeks ago, as I strode down the field at the back of the croft.  The wind blowing strongly, and the sun filtering through the rain that was moving in swiftly from the Southwest and I absolutely knew I was in the right place, doing what i was meant to be doing - what Neil Gunn called "The Atom of Delight." I reckon I can cope with a few wobbles.

But it has not been all work.  We celebrated Finlay's  3rd birthday!  He just looks the part - a belted knight wearing a football strip - wonderful. 

 I have also managed to finish knitting a whole garment - a wee cardigan for Erin.  It was from a book called More last minute knitted gifts, and was billed as taking 4-6 hours to knit.  And how long did I take?  Oh - about 6 - 7 weeks!  Not perfect, but there is love in every stitch.

And here is Miss Erin.  I am loving lots and lots of snuggly cuddly moments with this lovely lady.

Anyway - busy busy, finishing the house stuff and organising more packing. In particular, working out how on earth we are going to fit the hen hut and hens into the back of the pickup along with the dog crate, feed bins, and other essential paraphernalia -  so it may be another week before I am back here again.  Journeying on. Love and blessings to you all.

13 comments:

  1. I can feel your wrench at leaving, and also your feeling of rightness about your new life. They are both good feelings. I've surprised myself lately by feeling somewhat attached to Edinburgh. Part of it is because my children will shortly both be away at university, and I am realising that this is where their formative roots are and so I feel attached to the city through them. Part of it is actually because of blogging - the more I photograph of the city the more I like it. But I want to be in Moray, where my roots are. When we leave here to move north one day I expect I'll feel something of your conflicting emotions.
    Meantime good luck with fitting in the hens, and with the flitting.

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  2. Yes that makes complete sense to me, Linda. A major part of my wobble last week came after a listening to my son reminiscing about growing up around here and how he would miss the kitchen! And yet he has moved on now and
    will really only be visiting. Thank you for that comment xx

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  3. Moving on to a new life, with new plans, hopes and dreams, is always tinged with sadness at what you are leaving behind. We moved away from the place where I had my 4 babies and all my friends. But it soon passes and you remember with fondness and not sadness then. You have chosen "another life", a step forward, in a beautiful area and I am sure it is just right, and your little one will have loads of memories when he grows up, in your new place, close to the earth and as you say, trying to tread lightly. Memories are precious, and however long you have lived there, the memories will never change. With all best wishes.

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  4. Roots are a funny thing. I was so glad to leave our last home, but sad to leave the garden after growing there for 11 years...and I heard the other day the new people (my ex neighbour who smoked us out is moving into it) has cut down all the trees I planted ~ apple, cherry, peach, poplars, silver birch, beeches, etc. She wants lawn!

    Hugs for your adjustment. You'll plant new seeds, which will grow roots, and embed you firmly in your new place. Allow yourself to grieve, though. Love, veronika

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  5. I have only moved a couple of times, but both times would miss the old place, but they still appear in my dreams, and give me comfort. I know if we ever moved from here, the one thing I would really miss is my allotment!

    Just wondering if at some point I could have your new address.

    Hope someone lovely comes along who will appreciate all your hard work on the land. It's quite something to hand over something so precious to a complete stranger.

    xx

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  6. How could you not grieve for leaving a place you put so much into, and that has so many memories? But as you say, the move feels right, and that's a blessing.
    Re. family roots: I used to feel that everyone else stayed in the same place and I was the only one who seemed to move about, including leaving my country of birth. Having done quite a lot of research into my ancestors, and having talked to other people about theirs, I now think it's the exception rather than the rule to stay in one place for generations.
    Be good to yourself, Jacqui!

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  7. I know how you are feeling mama, we also have our house up for sale, although very few veiwings to be honest :(
    Although we have moved a couple of times it is hard to leave those lovely memories but exciting creating new ones. Ohh and how snuggly and cuddly is little Erin ((hugs)).
    blessings sue xx

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  8. Oh how timely your post is for us! I really do feel your struggle to let go of your roots. We are in a constant state of un-decision as to wether to move or not, still no closer to a decision but reading others words on the same thing makes something tick in my head!

    Good Luck with the moving of all the rest of the stuff!

    Michelle x

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  9. So excited to be with you on this exciting move.
    Lots of joy through it!

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  10. o excited to be with you on this exciting move.
    Lots of joy through it!

    (accidentally posted anonymous last time. whoops)

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  11. Jacqui - you ARE the roots and you are the grounding strength for the branches, your beautiful and blessed family.
    We are feeling some of the same thoughts as we are looking to move on next year but there is a deep fear of leaving the security we have built here, and of course the older children too who will not all accompany us on our journey in the day to day.
    You are an inspiration and I hope to feel some of your strength when our time comes to move on.
    xx

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  12. What lovely comments again - thank you.

    Cory - thank you for popping in, and hopefully you will be on a similar journey yourself sometime.
    Michelle and Becks - for so long I agonised over what to do. I knew i wanted to move on, but things were always holding me back. I came to realise that I could stay around, and always be part of my children and father's lives, but that they would be getting on with their lives and then fitting me into that. Hmm I am not sure that makes sense, but anyway we made the decision to have our own lives too.
    Sue - good luck with the house sale - i hope a buyer will be along soon. And Erin is such a cuddly girl.x
    Christine - thank you - funnily in my family research, i have found that we have really stayed in the same place - Central Scotland, and not moved around very much. The furthest back i have gone is 1723 and one branch of the family is found just over the hill from where we are now!
    Claire - I have pm'd you - thanks very much for your thoughts.
    I do hope the person will love the garden.
    Veronika - hugs - that is a great shame about your trees, but not surprising, given who it is. xx
    And thank you Marilyn - we will have very happy memories, but we will make new ones too. xxx

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  13. Happy Birthday to Finley and look at that sweet Erin. I don't blame you for cuddling her a lot. What a doll.

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